Becoming a mother is one of the most challenging things a woman can do, and there's no telling whether you fucked it all up or not until your kid grows up and becomes an asshole, genius, mama's boy, philanthropist, murderer, artist, or whatever.
Imagine being told that you have a lifelong mission to accomplish. It's perhaps the most important thing you'll ever do. You'll work on it for like 15 years, make huge sacrifices, stretch your physical, emotional and intellectual limits, and have hardly any indication of how you're doing until the job is done. In fact, it's difficult to say how much of the outcome you actually influence. But you are responsible, and accountable, so don't screw it up! OK GO!
Confused? Bewildered? Of course you are. The experience of motherhood (fatherhood, too, but I'm speaking from my own experience here) can make a person extremely self-conscious and vulnerable. Sometimes judging all the terrible decisions of others (i.e., any decision that isn't the same one YOU made) makes you feel a little more confident in your own decisions.
ANd as if it's not enough that we do it to each other on a micro level, exploiting that vulnerability and pitting women against each other sells magazines, creating a huge feedback loop. Once again, on behalf of all womankind, thanks a fucking lot, media!
Stupid article that inspired my anger & this post here. For more such nonsense, look... just about anywhere.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Saturday, December 3, 2011
On Certification
I'd written this many years ago shortly after getting certified as a project manager. I'm posting it here because I think my line of reasoning applies to other types of certifications and academic credentials in general. And, as you'll read later, academic/institutional credentialing has weighed heavily on my mind lately as I consider education options for my kids.
If you're getting started in project management or looking to take your career to the next level, you may be considering PMP certification. In addition to catapulting your resume to the top of a recruitment manager's pile, it often commands a higher salary and even the envy of non-certified colleagues. The PMP is a desirable thing indeed.
Unfortunately, it's often desired for all the wrong reasons, namely, earning a higher salary and the envy of colleagues. Worse, after countless hours of studying PMI's narrowly defined processes and cramming for an exam, many people begin to look at their real-world projects as academic exercises and start to get a little crazy with things like formal communication, protocol and documentation. Don't get me wrong; there's nothing wrong with wanting to earn more, and I am all for adhering to standards and using best practices. In fact, I'm a fairly active member of PMI and intend to maintain my certification status. However, only a small part of my value as a project manager can be attributed to what I learned while studying for the credential.
Frm my perspective, the two best reasons to take the PMP exam are:
In short, the earning PMP certification will NOT make you a better project manager. It will, however, help you to appear more legit in the eyes of traditional organizations.
If you're getting started in project management or looking to take your career to the next level, you may be considering PMP certification. In addition to catapulting your resume to the top of a recruitment manager's pile, it often commands a higher salary and even the envy of non-certified colleagues. The PMP is a desirable thing indeed.
Unfortunately, it's often desired for all the wrong reasons, namely, earning a higher salary and the envy of colleagues. Worse, after countless hours of studying PMI's narrowly defined processes and cramming for an exam, many people begin to look at their real-world projects as academic exercises and start to get a little crazy with things like formal communication, protocol and documentation. Don't get me wrong; there's nothing wrong with wanting to earn more, and I am all for adhering to standards and using best practices. In fact, I'm a fairly active member of PMI and intend to maintain my certification status. However, only a small part of my value as a project manager can be attributed to what I learned while studying for the credential.
Frm my perspective, the two best reasons to take the PMP exam are:
- You want a new job. If you're looking for work as a project manager, having this credential will definitely give you an edge over the competition. The process you have to go through just to sit the exam is just arduous enough to scare off enough people to boost your chances of landing the job you want.
- Your company said they'd pay for it. One major deterrent for taking the exam is that it's expensive. I addition to the approximately $500 exam fee, you need to spend a certain amount of time sitting in a classroom, taking online courses, or attending seminars. I spent about $3,000 on the structured learning necessary to sit for the exam. If your company offers to fund your pursuit of the PMP credential, it's wise to take them up on it. It's a good investment for your company too, especially if they have prospective clients who factor professional certifications into their vendor selection process.
In short, the earning PMP certification will NOT make you a better project manager. It will, however, help you to appear more legit in the eyes of traditional organizations.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
10 Reasons You're Not In Charge
Have you ever found yourself oscillating between hating your superiors and wishing you were in charge? Many of the things you can’t stand about your boss are the very skills it takes to be one.
This is an article I had written for a business publication a while back, but I found myself coming to the same conclusions as a member of a roller derby league and as a volunteer for educational organizations.
Have you ever heard yourself saying, "This guy is an IDIOT! How could he be my boss when he doesn't even have half the skill I do? I could do his job better; why aren't I running this department?" Here's why.
1. You don’t play politics
Why does one employee get the same compliment for a mediocre job as another employee for an outstanding one? Maybe the boss knows that this mediocre employee needs to feel appreciated, or not only will his mediocre performance become terrible, he'll also be a general pain and make life unpleasant for other outstanding employees. Seemingly inexplicable management decisions sometimes have reasons you just can't see from your vantage point. When management's priorities don't align with yours, it's dismissed and disdained as "office politics."
2. You refuse to make sacrifices
Juggling the needs and priorities of your staff and the business means making sacrifices. Sometimes one option jumps out at you as being the best one, but sometimes there is no clear best option, and you're stuck shooting down a great idea for one that's only marginally better/cheaper/easier. If you've ever been accused of procrastination, you likely have difficulty making decisions that aren't clear-cut.
3. You pay great attention to detail
Attention to detail is a great attribute if you're a designer, programmer, instructor, analyst, etc. But as someone charged with the overall success of an operation or project, you'll need to keep your head out of the details and keep an eye on the big picture. It's near impossible to do both effectively at the same time.
4. You hate paperwork
Managers spend anywhere from 30 to 85 percent of their day with various forms of paperwork. Status reports, budget reports, project plans, performance reviews... the list is endless. Sounds exciting, no?
5. You refuse to take heat for others' mistakes
If you think it's unfair that your boss occasionally gets credit for your accomplishments, consider that they will just as often be blamed for your mistakes. Be prepared to take responsibility not only for your own screw ups, but for all the screw ups of everyone you supervise.
6. You don't like to "schmooze"
It's all about relationships. As someone who will spend a lot of your time smoothing things over with customers, upper management, and your own staff, it behooves you to be friendly and find some common ground with everyone. That means getting along with, and even better, identifying with, people you don't like. This is a great idea no matter what your position in an organization, but it is especially important for managers.
7. You're a realist
Have you ever seen a leader stand up in front of a group of over-worked, exhausted, disappointed, jaded employees and tell them things were going to turn around, and they'll look back and feel extraordinary pride at all they've accomplished? Did you think to yourself, "What a load of crap"? I'll bet somewhere, deep down, even though you were mildly insulted, you were probably just a wee bit inspired. The two worst things a manager can do in times of low morale are 1) nothing, and 2) perpetuate the situation by painting as bleak a picture as everyone else already has. Unless a project is completely irreparable, someone must be forever the optimist and stubbornly point to a future where everything turns out great, as unrealistic as it may seem at the time. That's the manager's job. Figuring out the details of HOW to get to that sunny future is your job, which you're more likely to do if you have the encouragement and support of your manager.
8. You hate meetings
Whether you currently attend one meeting a month or three a day, you will find yourself attending at least twice as many as a manager. And, you'll have to run many of them, which means that when you're not actually in a meeting, you're probably preparing for one.
9. You don't like public speaking
Most managers have to give presentations regularly, if not formally, then informally in the form of status updates to the rest of the company, or even just running meetings for one's own staff. If the thought of standing up and speaking in front of a room full of people makes you nauseous, you'll want to work on it before vying for that promotion.
10. Neck tie = Noose
Appearances always matter, though in some situations more than others. Companies that have casual dress codes tend to hold managers to stricter standards, even if it's not explicitly stated. As a manager you're more likely to be client-facing at least occasionally, which means the clothes you wear and your overall appearance are for the benefit of others, not just yourself.
On the plus side...
Sour grapes? Not necessarily. Think about it. You likely wear at least some of these attributes as a badge of honor, or at least as an integral part of your personal identity. Would you really be happy in a position where you were forced to change aspects of your personality in order to be successful?
"Successful" and "happy" are not the same thing.
It's a shame that at so many organizations, the only way to move into a higher salary bracket is to be promoted to supervisor or manager. The good news that while rare, there are companies that know that management is just another skill, and not necessarily one that's intrinsically worth more than the skills you have. If you're truly underpaid and under-appreciated, consider making a case for a raise or promotion based on the skills that you do have.
If you can demonstrate that your value to the organization is greater than what it would cost them to keep you happy, it's unlikely you'll be turned down. And if you can't demonstrate that you're worth more to the organization than your current salary, maybe it's time to figure why.
In the meantime, the next time you find yourself frustrated with a boss who seems disconnected, consider the list above and ask yourself if you'd really fare much better in their shoes.
This is an article I had written for a business publication a while back, but I found myself coming to the same conclusions as a member of a roller derby league and as a volunteer for educational organizations.
Have you ever heard yourself saying, "This guy is an IDIOT! How could he be my boss when he doesn't even have half the skill I do? I could do his job better; why aren't I running this department?" Here's why.
1. You don’t play politics
Why does one employee get the same compliment for a mediocre job as another employee for an outstanding one? Maybe the boss knows that this mediocre employee needs to feel appreciated, or not only will his mediocre performance become terrible, he'll also be a general pain and make life unpleasant for other outstanding employees. Seemingly inexplicable management decisions sometimes have reasons you just can't see from your vantage point. When management's priorities don't align with yours, it's dismissed and disdained as "office politics."
2. You refuse to make sacrifices
Juggling the needs and priorities of your staff and the business means making sacrifices. Sometimes one option jumps out at you as being the best one, but sometimes there is no clear best option, and you're stuck shooting down a great idea for one that's only marginally better/cheaper/easier. If you've ever been accused of procrastination, you likely have difficulty making decisions that aren't clear-cut.
3. You pay great attention to detail
Attention to detail is a great attribute if you're a designer, programmer, instructor, analyst, etc. But as someone charged with the overall success of an operation or project, you'll need to keep your head out of the details and keep an eye on the big picture. It's near impossible to do both effectively at the same time.
4. You hate paperwork
Managers spend anywhere from 30 to 85 percent of their day with various forms of paperwork. Status reports, budget reports, project plans, performance reviews... the list is endless. Sounds exciting, no?
5. You refuse to take heat for others' mistakes
If you think it's unfair that your boss occasionally gets credit for your accomplishments, consider that they will just as often be blamed for your mistakes. Be prepared to take responsibility not only for your own screw ups, but for all the screw ups of everyone you supervise.
6. You don't like to "schmooze"
It's all about relationships. As someone who will spend a lot of your time smoothing things over with customers, upper management, and your own staff, it behooves you to be friendly and find some common ground with everyone. That means getting along with, and even better, identifying with, people you don't like. This is a great idea no matter what your position in an organization, but it is especially important for managers.
7. You're a realist
Have you ever seen a leader stand up in front of a group of over-worked, exhausted, disappointed, jaded employees and tell them things were going to turn around, and they'll look back and feel extraordinary pride at all they've accomplished? Did you think to yourself, "What a load of crap"? I'll bet somewhere, deep down, even though you were mildly insulted, you were probably just a wee bit inspired. The two worst things a manager can do in times of low morale are 1) nothing, and 2) perpetuate the situation by painting as bleak a picture as everyone else already has. Unless a project is completely irreparable, someone must be forever the optimist and stubbornly point to a future where everything turns out great, as unrealistic as it may seem at the time. That's the manager's job. Figuring out the details of HOW to get to that sunny future is your job, which you're more likely to do if you have the encouragement and support of your manager.
8. You hate meetings
Whether you currently attend one meeting a month or three a day, you will find yourself attending at least twice as many as a manager. And, you'll have to run many of them, which means that when you're not actually in a meeting, you're probably preparing for one.
9. You don't like public speaking
Most managers have to give presentations regularly, if not formally, then informally in the form of status updates to the rest of the company, or even just running meetings for one's own staff. If the thought of standing up and speaking in front of a room full of people makes you nauseous, you'll want to work on it before vying for that promotion.
10. Neck tie = Noose
Appearances always matter, though in some situations more than others. Companies that have casual dress codes tend to hold managers to stricter standards, even if it's not explicitly stated. As a manager you're more likely to be client-facing at least occasionally, which means the clothes you wear and your overall appearance are for the benefit of others, not just yourself.
On the plus side...
10 Reasons You Didn't Want to Be One Anyway
- You don't play politics
- You refuse to make sacrifices
- You pay great attention to detail
- You hate paperwork
- You refuse to take heat for others' mistakes
- You don't like to "shmooze"
- You're a realist
- You hate meetings
- You don't like public speaking
- Neck tie = Noose
Sour grapes? Not necessarily. Think about it. You likely wear at least some of these attributes as a badge of honor, or at least as an integral part of your personal identity. Would you really be happy in a position where you were forced to change aspects of your personality in order to be successful?
"Successful" and "happy" are not the same thing.
It's a shame that at so many organizations, the only way to move into a higher salary bracket is to be promoted to supervisor or manager. The good news that while rare, there are companies that know that management is just another skill, and not necessarily one that's intrinsically worth more than the skills you have. If you're truly underpaid and under-appreciated, consider making a case for a raise or promotion based on the skills that you do have.
If you can demonstrate that your value to the organization is greater than what it would cost them to keep you happy, it's unlikely you'll be turned down. And if you can't demonstrate that you're worth more to the organization than your current salary, maybe it's time to figure why.
In the meantime, the next time you find yourself frustrated with a boss who seems disconnected, consider the list above and ask yourself if you'd really fare much better in their shoes.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
A PSA for budding derby girls: Please Take Care of Your Knees
Everyone has already told you to get good knee pads. I'm telling you again--get good knee pads. If there's one area not to cheap out on when you're first starting roller derby, this is it.
I have awesome knee pads. Not only does it feel like landing on a tiny fluffy cloud when I do knee falls, they look cool too. I highly recommend them.
However, I still have knee pain. There are two circumstances under which I tend to fall: 1) I'm attempting a maneuver I haven't mastered yet, like hockey stops or 360's. 2) We're doing a drill that involves lots of cutting across the track & I collide with someone. I'm not doing contact, so I fall waaaay less often than most of the other skaters.
So if I don't fall very often, I have great knee pads, and I've only been doing this for 6 months, why the knee pain?
Answer: I am weak.
Like, literally, the muscles and ligaments that support my knee are weak. It's not just impact, it's strain that causes pain.
Your practices probably include a lot of squats, leg lifts and stretches. If you're having knee pain, pay close attention to them and try to do them properly. There are tons of resources for that online, and try to get some direct one-on-one instruction from a veteran skater.
Also, give yourself a knee massage before and after practice, and whenever it feels ouchy. Here's how:
Take care of yourself. If you do injure your knee beyond just typical workout pain or weakness pain (you will know the difference) see a doctor, and follow orders. Following the advice above should minimize the risk that you'll end up needing drugs or surgery one day.
And for fuck's sake, don't take anti-inflammatories as a precautionary measure! Inflammation serves a purpose when you're putting strain on your muscles and joints. Your body needs to be free to respond to the stress you're putting on it.
I have awesome knee pads. Not only does it feel like landing on a tiny fluffy cloud when I do knee falls, they look cool too. I highly recommend them.
However, I still have knee pain. There are two circumstances under which I tend to fall: 1) I'm attempting a maneuver I haven't mastered yet, like hockey stops or 360's. 2) We're doing a drill that involves lots of cutting across the track & I collide with someone. I'm not doing contact, so I fall waaaay less often than most of the other skaters.
So if I don't fall very often, I have great knee pads, and I've only been doing this for 6 months, why the knee pain?
Answer: I am weak.
Like, literally, the muscles and ligaments that support my knee are weak. It's not just impact, it's strain that causes pain.
Your practices probably include a lot of squats, leg lifts and stretches. If you're having knee pain, pay close attention to them and try to do them properly. There are tons of resources for that online, and try to get some direct one-on-one instruction from a veteran skater.
Also, give yourself a knee massage before and after practice, and whenever it feels ouchy. Here's how:
Take care of yourself. If you do injure your knee beyond just typical workout pain or weakness pain (you will know the difference) see a doctor, and follow orders. Following the advice above should minimize the risk that you'll end up needing drugs or surgery one day.
And for fuck's sake, don't take anti-inflammatories as a precautionary measure! Inflammation serves a purpose when you're putting strain on your muscles and joints. Your body needs to be free to respond to the stress you're putting on it.
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