Whenever I find myself getting frustrated with Kayla I remind myself how I might fare in her shoes (or lack of them).
What kind of mood would I be in if:
- I had limited ability to move myself from one place to another
- There were people who's idea of fun was to dangle objects I'm not supposed to touch in front of me
- I wanted desperately to communicate with everyone but I didn't speak the language
- Bowel movements and gas were often painful
- I had trouble getting to sleep
- I had no teeth
- and so on.
Basically, if I found myself naked and crippled in a foreign country. I probably wouldn't be happy nearly as much of the time she is.
Empathy does wonders for one's patience.
3 comments:
And, she is only happy a lot of the time because ignorance is bliss.
Interesting to think about how people develop. Her self-awareness will come first, right? At what age do children develop empathy? (knowing some people, never)
That progression is actually really interesting-- I learned about it in my childhood development classes when I thought I could be a teacher. I'll have to find it again, but here's what I remember about it:
First comes self-awareness, which happens some time between 6 months and a few years. This is also when long-term memories start to form.
Next comes... not "empathy" per se, but the understanding that other people have thoughts and feelings. This happens between around 3 and 7 years and marks the beginnings of an understanding of the concept of fairness.
Then comes empathy, where you not only understand that other people have thoughts and feelings, but can identify with them. There are many levels of this, from only being able to identify with people are are very much like you to being able to identify with people who are very different from you.
In parallel a person's sense of morality and justice develops. This has it's own progression and I don't remember the stages, but I do remember that most people never get past the "cultural rules and laws should dictate behavior" to the fully mature "morality comes from within and laws that are unjust should not be followed."
That's because people are not very bright and don't have the capacity to think for themselves. It's way easier to follow the rules that are there than actually have to (god forbid) think for yourself.
I personally know and have known many adults who do not possess a proper sense of empathy or none whatsoever. They maintain being in that stage of "knowing others have thoughts and feelings" but not being able to relate to others. Or they are just so self-absorbed that they could care less.
I do think that this is something that can be helped in developmental stages when a child has a parent that says things like "put yourself in that person's shoes" or "wouldn't you be sad if someone bit your Barbie's head off, too?"
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